I used to love nostalgia and the feeling it gave me. Happy, bittersweet, with a
longing for old times. But right now they don’t seem to matter. Monday my world
shattered. The emptiness and aching for what is now gone is overwhelming.
I can’t not look to the future for excitement or to the past for solace. I am stuck in the here and now with nothing.
Sunday was one of those deliciously chilly mornings. The kind where you burrow into your blankets more for comfort than warmth. Early enough there is no noise about and you are able to have fanciful thoughts lull you back to sleep. Only to be woken up to the sound of rain tapping your window.
A more perfect morning could not have materialized. I pulled on my robe and started the coffee. As the coffee brewed I loaded my player with music. Mostly with classical and heavy on the cello sonatas, as they seem to go hand in hand with this fall weather. I did load the long versions of Beethoven’s Fur Elise and Midnight Sonata since they are magical.
With the smell of coffee wafting from the kitchen I looked high and low for my slippers with the outdoor soles. Of course they were in their box in the closet. I
poured a cup and picked up some wafers.
On my way out I grabbed a small stack of books.
I sat there for the longest time taking it all in. The beauty of fall, the flora and fauna, the rain, the fog. Rain and fog change the landscape in the most inviting way. The fog layered about 3 feet off the ground made it even more enchanting, as if I had entered a delightful new realm. Even trees look different in the rain.
The music captured the moments flawlessly. Especially Bach -Cello Suite No 1, Beethoven’s, Cello Sonata in A Op.69: Allegro, ma non tanto, and Moonlight Sonata. It would take me longer to list my list than listen to it.
I thumbed through the books I brought out. All very interesting picks: 1Q84 – Haruki Murakami, Fool Me Once – Harlan Coben, Charlotte Street – Danny Wallace, The Navigator of New York – Wayne Johnston, and Thunderstruck & Other Stories – Elizabeth McCracken. I chose Fool Me Once by Harlen Coben. There are few books by him I haven’t read yet.
I spent the next several hours reading and getting lost in the beauty that surrounded me. This was the kind of morning that you never want to end or at least last longer than a couple hours. A perfect day indeed.
All around me this morning you can see the spring peeking through as the last hues of winter leave. Continue reading
It’s early and the sun is peeking through the sky, breaking up the chilly morning air. I’m sitting outside drinking tea and wondering if today will be another freezing winter day in California. You know the ones where we are wearing shorts because it is in the mid to high 70’s. Such a crazy thought that while we sit here in the middle of a drought and hot weather, across the country was buried in snow last week. Enough about the weather.